Joseph Provine Jr. · Follow
8 min read · Feb 14, 2019
By: Joseph Provine Jr.
I’m pretty sure that all of us, at some point, have been called ugly. Despite how good we may look. Whether it was in a joking sense or in a serious sense, and the reasons why we were called this may vary. Maybe the person may have thought that our nose was too big, or our hair was too raggedy, or maybe our style just wasn’t like theirs. Or maybe we did something that just disgusted the person so much that it made us ugly to them.
But what if it was because of how we looked? I mean, some say that we’re all ugly to somebody anyways right? So then why does it seem like some people are just naturally more attractive than others? How come on TV the lesser attractive characters are portrayed as nerds while the good looking characters are portrayed as jocks and cool? So does this mean that God really makes some people uglier or cuter than others? These were all questions I asked myself growing up that later I learned and understood through an eye opening change that happened as I grew into young adulthood.
Growing up in my childhood I’ve been placed on both sides of the card. Some girls saw me as cute and others didn’t. Honestly, I’ve been called ugly in a serious way a numerous amount of times. And at one point, I let this get to me and hurt my self-esteem. I watched as all the other girls flirted with guys and I remembered asking myself, “Why do I look so different? Why did God choose to make me the odd one out?” As I grew older, however, it worsened. As my male friends started going through puberty and getting older it seem like each one of them was able to get at least one girl to “string along” or entertain. But as for me, none.
Having a girlfriend was never really a big concern of mine but it just seemed like girls never really gravitated towards me like they did other guys. When I got to my teens, where everybody was critical on looks, it seemed like I was always the one to be rejected by girls, because of my looks, made fun of, because of my looks, and even starred at, (negatively), because of my looks.
My so called “friends” called me ugly even though it was a “joke.” And to make matters worse random people would always inform me that my head shape was different from everyone else's. “Ok then, fine. I guess I’m ugly,” I thought to myself. No big deal.
But it was a big deal. Eventually, it caused me to have low self-esteem to where I didn’t even bother to try to talk to people because of fear of rejection. I remember being afraid to approach strangers even if I had a good reason to because of how I thought they would respond to how I look. Then I realized, I never saw myself as ugly until I listened to what others had to say about me instead of listening to what God had to say about me.
It wasn’t until I started to get a relationship with the Father through Jesus that made me realize how God sees me and how He felt about others constantly calling me ugly or making fun of how I look. All of the things listed below are things I that God revealed to me about everything I questioned when I was younger concerning looks, how He sees us, and how He feels when we call each other ugly based on how someone looks naturally.
Revelation #1: NOBODY Was Created Ugly. But We Can Become Ugly By Our Own Choice Of Actions.
The bible says that we are created in the image and likeness of God. Which means that when we were created, we were created to reflect and resemble Him in our appearance. Now, if you know anything about God, you know that God is far from ugly. It says that David in the bible desired to gaze on His beauty.(Psalm 27:4) And it also says that God has made everything to be beautiful. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) In simpler terms, God is Beautiful and of course, when He made us in His image, He made us ALL to have beauty too even if others don’t see it.
However, even though God made us to be beautiful just as He is, “ugly people” or ugliness still exist. And by this, I’m referring to the inner qualities to an individual. While some may only focus on the physical qualities of a person to determine if they’re beautiful or ugly, God measures beauty by the condition of the person’s heart. (Often, the mind or mindset of a person is described in the bible as a heart.)
When a individual who is considered good looking becomes arrogant of their looks and acts accordingly, it can cause God to deem that individual as something unattractive. Which ultimately affects their beauty inwardly and outwardly as well. Just look at how Lucifer became the devil, a once beautiful angel turned into a devil with ugly features.
“Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I exposed you before kings, to feast their eyes on you. By the multitude of your iniquities, in the unrighteousness of your trade you profaned your sanctuaries; so I brought fire out from your midst; it consumed you, and I turned you to ashes on the earth in the sight of all who saw you.” — Ezekiel 28:17–18 (ESV)
Note: Realize how the first sentence of the scripture mentions how Lucifer had beauty. But by the end of the scripture, because of the pride of his beauty and the bad he had done because of his pride, God turned him ashes for everyone one to see.
Revelation #2: God DOES NOT Make Certain Individuals More Attractive Or “Cuter” Than Others.
Most of us are aware of the Jock vs. Nerd type of theme that is displayed in films where the nerd is depicted as the ugly, undesirable character where as the cool, popular characters are depicted as the cute or fine characters. However, this is not the case. Buying into this idea is like believing that God makes some people to be better than others. We all should know that this is not true. All men are created equal. God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34), meaning that He does not show favoritism without a cause. And the same thing goes when it comes to looks. Yea, you may see some people who are deemed as more attractive than most people, but at the end of the day, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What may not catch one’s persons eye could be the next persons exact type.
Revelation #3: Just Because Some People are Not Attracted To You Does Not Make You Ugly.
Even though this was more of an observation and is kind of similar to the part above, I still found it to be true. Since most people have preferences, if they happen to see a person who does not fit their preference come around, some people are so quick write them of as ugly. “Oh, his head is to big, so he’s ugly.” But another person may admire that same quality or feature.
Revelation #4: When You Call Someone Ugly Just Because of Looks, Your Judging Them.
You very rarely hear people say, “oh he/she just looks ugly” when someone sees someone that they think is ugly. Its usually, “He/She is Ugly!” And most of the time, the person who is calling the other person ugly has never even met the person, talked to them, or even know their name. To say that someone looks ugly is one thing because your acknowledging that its their looks that may be causing the person to seem unattractive.
But its another thing when someone says that somebody else is ugly because your inferring that everything intangible about that person: Morals, values, beliefs, character, personality, etc., is ugly just because of how they look. The word “is” is commonly used to describe who we are. So to say that someone is ugly just off of looks, you are giving them a prejudgment as to who they are as a person.
We all say “Don’t judge a book by its cover” but we do this all time when we call people ugly because of how they look. We as people are in no position to judge. Only God can judge us so let God be the judge He is as He gets to decide who people are. God would never see someone as being ugly because of how he created them to look, even if they have a certain disease, body size, syndrome, or deformity. In fact, He judges by the opposite of how most people would judge.
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” — 1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)
Revelation #5: Don’t Be So Sensitive.
Last but not least, if you are the one who is being called ugly, don’t take it to heart. Yes, words do have a powerful impact on us and it can hurt when people say the wrong things. But you as a human have the power to overcome. People, all of us, are flawed which makes a lot of us poor judges. People will misjudge, lie, fake, and suck up just to get what they want. And I’ve realized that most people are temporary anyways. Why would I listen to some imperfect person point out my external imperfections when I have a perfect person perfecting me internally?
I want everyone to know this; If your a person who has ever saw your self as being ugly because of how you naturally look or if your the person who is calling others ugly because of how they look, know that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) Think about making something fearfully or cautiously, you’ll take your time making it and be proud of it when you made it.
That’s how God feels about everyone of us. And surprisingly enough, the word ugly isn’t even found in the bible but the word beauty is. Who cares about what everybody else thinks about how you look. They’re people, weather they’re popular/famous or not. GOD is GOD! Everybody knows of a god but God himself doesn’t know everybody (Matthew 7:23). So be the person who God knows, making yourself known to Him by who you choose to be.
