Former CIA worker reveals what it's like to date when you're in the agency (2024)

Dating can sometimes be hard, so it's usually good to have some conversation starters ready to avoid any awkward silences. Asking about the other person's family, hobbies or employment is a common icebreaker, but that isn't so easy when your work involves classified information.

This was the case for Brittany Butler Jennings, 40, who has gone viral on TikTok (@formerspy1) after discussing the intriguing ways she juggled her dating life with her top-secret work in the CIA.

Jennings, who lives in Charleston, South Carolina, was in the agency for nine years, and when it came to relationships, she had to keep things discreet. She told Newsweek that she would usually tell people she was a Department of Defense consultant to avoid "raising too many eyebrows" or endless questions.

"In the early stages, I generally kept my job description vague, mentioning I was a government consultant. The details only became more specific when absolutely necessary," she said.

"The truth about my CIA affiliation was something I shared only when it was unavoidable. For the most part, only my husband was privy to that information once our relationship reached a significant level of trust and commitment."

For the most part, maintaining her job secrecy wasn't too challenging for Jennings, and she saw it as just "a unique aspect" of her life. She always made sure that conversations flowed naturally on dates to maintain her cover and avoid any questions.

But while dating a Mexican American man for nine months, Jennings had to report the relationship early on, disclosing his full name, date of birth and background information. That is the rule for CIA workers dating a foreign national.

"Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward or difficult to get that information. People tended to trust me, and it was more about ensuring transparency and security," Jennings said.

Her dating life changed in 2008, however, after Jennings met her future husband, Matt. As she had with her previous relationships, she maintained her discretion and told him she was a government consultant.

About four months into the relationship when it became clear they were serious about each other, Jennings finally told him that she was in the CIA.

"He found it incredibly intriguing. When I asked him, he said he thought it was sexy and mysterious. Given his background as a lobbyist on the Hill, he was familiar with people in the intelligence and defense communities, so it wasn't entirely foreign to him," she said.

Going Public on Social Media

For almost a decade, Jennings had to be very secretive about her life, but now that she's left the agency, she's free to talk about her experiences.

She regularly posts videos on TikTok and Instagram to discuss what her life was like. Since she went on TikTok to share how she juggled her work with dating, the clip has gained more than 455,200 views and 10,600 likes since June 20.

She has amazed social media users with her experiences, and they're usually anxious to know more about her fascinating past.

Since leaving the CIA in 2014, Jennings has written a spy novel, The Syndicate Spy, which she tells Newsweek is "a story close to [her] heart."

"I'm passionate about sharing the reality of being a woman in intelligence, especially working in counterterrorism in the Middle East. There's a need to counter the many false narratives that portray women as a mere seductress. I felt compelled to change that perception, which is also why I wrote my book."

She's received over 100 comments on her viral video about dating while in the CIA, and TikTok users were keen to share their thoughts or find out more. One comment reads: "How do you date someone for 9 months and not tell them what you do for work?"

Another person said: "Whenever I hear government contractor, as a job, I know it's with some agency but you don't ask."

Another TikToker wrote: "The vault?? I need more!!!"

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